Head: So, you ready to talk about this yet?

Heart: What’s there to talk about? I haven’t changed my mind.

Head: Seriously? How many times do you have to hear “Move on. This isn’t going to work.” before you actually LISTEN?

Heart: I’d listen if I believed. I don’t believe it. It’s more complicated than that and you know it.

Head: Could you for once try to be logical? You know what you’re up against, but you still persist. I just don’t understand that.

Heart: That’s because you’re a brain. You’re all about facts. I’m about feelings and emotions and intuition. You overthink everything. You should try feeling now and then.

Head: That’s your job. I’m here to keep you from basing everything on emotion.

Heart: Really? Let’s do a quick count of where you’ve gotten me in relationships. Marriage – knew in my heart it wasn’t the right thing to do, but went ahead with it because YOU convinced me I was just panicking. Relationship with crazy ex – knew in my heart that coming out was the right thing to do…finally; also knew that moving in with her was too much, too soon. Also knew shortly after that that the relationship would not work out, but YOU convinced me I needed to stay. By the way, how are all those psychological scars healing?

Head: Fuck you.

Heart: You started it. Should I continue? You had me convinced that coming out earlier would be a mistake, so I stayed in the closet until I couldn’t take it anymore. Do you realize how many years we lost because of your “logic”?

Head: Are you really going to put all the blame on me for that? Takes two to tango, babe.

Heart: Don’t call me that.

Head: Let’s get back to the original discussion. How much longer are you going to stick this out? Do you really think things can change?

Heart: I will stick it out as long as I believe this is right. And yes, I DO think things can change. I can read between the lines. And what I’m reading is that she’s doing that whole self-sacrifice thing because she isn’t ready and feels guilty about me waiting around. Guilt, by the way, is such a head thing. You should really work on that.

Head: I’ll put it on my to-do list.

Heart: My, my. Somebody is feeling bitchy. You stick to work-type stuff and let me handle the relationships.

Head: Right. Because you’re so much better at it. Have you even tried to go out and look at your options? You really expect me to believe there isn’t someone else out there that you’re compatible with?

Heart: I have gone out. I have looked. You know what I discovered? Nobody else appeals to me. Nobody else is HER. I know I don’t need to go over the checklist with you because you helped me write it.

Head: If you’d open up a little more, you just might be surprised who you’d meet. I mean, you HAD a chance to get a phone number and you just turned tail and ran.

Heart: I left because the whole thing felt wrong. I felt like I was betraying her. I know where I belong.

Head: You’re just as stubborn as she is.

Heart: That may be, but the difference is my heart is leading me. I’m pretty sure she’s listening to her head. She’s afraid of getting hurt again. I think she’s also afraid that she’s somehow going to hurt me.

Head: And you think you know better than her what she needs? That’s a little arrogant.

Heart: I don’t think I know better. I’m just trying to present a different side to the situation. We both know she tends to think the worst. It isn’t good for her. I’m trying to help her see the better side of what things could be like if she just let go of her fear for a bit.

Head: Well, I can tell you from experience that’s not easy to do. Fear is one of the main reasons we’re such introverts.

Heart: Is that why? I thought it was because we’re afraid of rejection.

Head: Same thing as far as I’m concerned. Listen, eventually you’re going to have to make a decision.

Heart: The only decision I’m making is to listen to myself. As long as this feels like the right road for me, I’m staying on it. We both know I’m more patient and persistent than you are.

Head: And that’s a good thing?

Heart: Bite me. Why don’t you go read something while I daydream about the day she finally says “yes.”