The Gay Agenda: Rainbow Foods

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Oreo “came out” this week in a very public way in support of gay rights. Of course, the company may have been supportive for years and just chose to keep it quiet. But when they posted the rainbow cookie, an uproar ensued.

Homophobes everywhere declared their disappointment with the company’s stance for equality. How dare they support those disgusting queers?! They promised to boycott Oreos and Nabisco. The hateful and ignorant comments I saw made me angry, sad, and a little sick. I’m amazed that a little rainbow, and what it has come to represent to many, can cause so many people to become hateful bigots. Have they even stopped to think about ALL the other rainbow products they have consumed in their lifetime?


Gay since 1982









Fruit Loops

Gay since 1963









Fruity Pebbles

Gay since 1971












Gay since 1959









Lucky Charms

Gay since 1964








Yes, homophobes of the world. All these companies have been supporting gay rights for as long as they’ve been around. Isn’t it evident by their products? They have secretly been working to turn everyone gay by making tasty, rainbow foods for decades. Does it all make sense now? Those homoerotic yearnings you’ve had at different times during your life? The rainbow foods at work. This is all just part of the gay agenda that so many of you talk about. Think about that the next time you bite into a PopTart that has rainbow sprinkles on it.

2 comments for “The Gay Agenda: Rainbow Foods

  1. Amy
    June 28, 2012 at 11:52 am

    All praise Skittles and pass the Rainbow Brites!

  2. June 28, 2012 at 12:03 pm

    Great piece.

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