Can You Please Not Stand on My Ass?!

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I’m standing in line at the grocery store, patiently waiting for the coupon debacle ahead of me to be resolved, and suddenly I’ve got three people standing right on top of me. There a few things I hate more than an invasion of my personal space by complete strangers. Walking through crowded places, it’s expected and not an issue. But when I’m in line, I don’t want to feel or smell your breath. Imagine there’s a bubble around each of us. And if you step into my bubble, you’ll be electrocuted. I don’t know when invading another’s personal space became acceptable. I’ve had moms push their kiddie shopping cart into the back of my feet. I’ve stepped back to get around my cart, only to find myself stepping on someone’s foot. And every time, these people look at me like it’s my fault! Are you shitting me? If you catch me at a time when I haven’t had anything to eat or caffeine, well you’re just asking for trouble. Don’t get so goddamned close! I don’t want to be able to discern which brand of deodorant or soap you use, assuming of course that you use any. And if I’m using my ATM, I sure as hell don’t want you on my ass looking at my PIN. This total disregard for the personal space seems to be symptomatic of our society’s lack of respect for other people in general. Are you going to get through the checkout line any faster if you’re on my ass? No. But you are likely to end up with me stepping back on your foot just to prove a point. And it’s the same with drivers. Get off my bumper or prepare to be boxed in next to some other slow car. I will slow down when someone rides my ass. And when you zip around, just to speed up to the red light, you can bet your ass I’ll be laughing at you.

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