Semi-Live Blogging My Windows 7 Upgrade – Part 2

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When we last left our author, she had been temporarily defeated by her archnemesis, Windows. Exhausted and broken, she dragged her sorry ass to bed and vowed to defeat the evil operating system after some sleep.

Will she get the computer working? Will the kids wake up and ask her if they can use the computer? Will she be driven to drink before noon? Find out next…

Sunday, September 19

8:41 AM: Eyes pop open. I rollover and look at clock. Partner’s shift started at 8:30. She didn’t wake me up and I didn’t hear screaming, so the flaky laptop, aka Portable Piece of Shit, must be working.

8:45 AM: Finally throw covers off and get out of bed. Put on something warm and brushed teeth. Exhausted, but I must get the computer working.

8:50 AM: Walk out to living room and say good morning to partner. She looks just as tired as me. Take coffee order for trip to Starbucks.

9:05 AM: Back from Starbucks (conveniently located approximately 3 minutes from house). Turn on computer and await Blue Screen of Death (BSOD). Kids still asleep. Hoping this is one of those days they sleep until noon…

9:09 AM: Get  BSOD and reboot in Safe Mode.

9:14 AM: Computer running in Safe Mode. Now to find the problem. Open various diagnostic files and try to decipher gobbly-gook that passes for information. I think I need to drink more coffee to make sense of this…

9:20 AM: Open up stable, always-reliable Mac laptop and look for solutions.

9:25 AM: After quick scan of internet sites, determine that I’m not alone in Windows 7 battle.

9:28 AM: Partner suggests I call Microsoft tech support for help. I laugh on the inside.

9:45 AM: Kids decided to wake up. This could cause problems if they decide to be suddenly incompetent in getting their own breakfast.

9:50 AM: Oldest asks if the computer is done. I say no. She makes some remark about how her Webkinz are probably starving.  I ignore it and turn back to computer screen. Eye begins to twitch.

10:00 AM: Change a few settings and reboot computer.

10:03 AM: Youngest asks when computer will be done. I say I don’t know. She needs it to finish homework project. I tell her she can use my laptop in a few hours.

10:05 AM: BSOD. Hot tears begin to pool in my eyes. Blood pressure goes up. Patience drops to zero.

10:08 AM: Back in Safe Mode again. Return to laptop to search for answers. Partner suggests again I call Microsoft. Clearly she has no idea that calling them would be more aggravating than figuring it out myself. That, and they charge outrageous fees for support. Tell her that if I can’t fix it soon, I’m going to restore to Vista and talk to the tech guy at work on Monday.

10: 30 AM: Microsoft failed to create restore point like it said at beginning of upgrade. I’m fucked. I quietly cry at desk and curse the day Bill Gates was born.

10:45 AM: Actually consider calling Microsoft then come to my senses. I can fix this on my own, dammit!

10: 48 AM: Decipher enough of gobbly-gook files to see that AOL and Norton could be causing the problems. I turn off all unnecessary services and startup programs and reboot.

10:55 AM: I’m logged in under the normal mode and the computer seems to be working. Now I have to figure out how to fix software issues and return computer to normal state.

11:00 AM – 12:30 PM: Do various tests and research to determine what exactly is causing OS to fail. Need to upgrade Norton, iTunes, and AOL. Thanks Microsoft for telling me the versions I had were compatible. Dirty, lying bastards…

12:30 PM: Lunch. Make sure kids are fed so they don’t disturb mom who’s working.

1:00 PM – 5:00 PM: Install various software upgrades. Norton is being particularly troublesome. I can’t do an automatic update because having it on causes BSOD. Have to manually download and install all updates. Help kids with homework and do some laundry.

5:00 PM: Make dinner. Looks like I will defeat the computer and have it running soon. This puts me in a good mood.

6:00 PM: Finish software installs. Turn all services back on and reboot. Pray that it starts normally.

6:05 PM: Computer is working normally! Take that Microsoft!

6:10 PM: Install printer. This actually goes smoothly…until I try to get the wireless feature to work. Don’t care. I’ll deal with that another day.

6:30 PM: Officially declare that computer is upgraded and running. Oldest jumps on to “feed” her Webkinz. I go to couch and space out for the rest of the night.

Many commented on Part 1 about how much they love their Macs. Me too. We have two Mac laptops that we use for most stuff. Unfortunately, Windows is a necessary evil in our household because of work, especially for my partner. I find Macs to be much easier to use and more stable, but she manages to crash her Mac once a day. I think she’s got some bad computer mojo and now it’s spread to me. Personally, I believe AOL is one reason she has so many problems on the computer, but she refuses to give it up. Old habits die hard I guess.

Vista is dead…long live the Mac!

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